So you want to know more, how sweet. I suppose the best way to understand why you should be here is by knowing why I am here.
I am here to express exquisite thoughts floating high above applicable practicality, so to tie those thoughts with strings of experience and perspective to a grounded surface, so that they can be tugged upon.
I am here to blend the pragmatic with the idealistic, and at other moments to vacate on poetic flights of imagination, knowing that, pragmatically, a little daydreaming here and there is essential to a balanced breakfast. Even cavemen painted on walls.
I am not here to alter your reality – merely the way your reality is perceived.
I am here to encourage the haves and have-nots through acts of sublimation free from disparagement, so to galvanize one and all towards achieving more significant plateaus of freedom and prosperity. But if I can get you to not kick the dog after a rough day of work, or to not pour a bottle of water down the toilet before flushing it, and nothing more, that will suffice.
I am here to make you feel good! I want to reveal the miracle that is you, being the sweet, huggable, loveable person that you are. If only I could cut off your head, and mount it above my fireplace with a plaque inscribed, “Adorable”.
I am here for now, not later, although now that it is later, I guess there is little point to being here.
I am here not to settle the mind with unattainable answers, but to stimulate the mind with questions unexplored.
I am here to get to there.
I am here, because you are here.
Some things are best said either to a close friend in a private setting, or to a thousand strangers in an open forum, like that homosexual nightmare I only had once, every night. This is another reason why I am here.
I am here to spend as much time as possible explaining why I am here.
I am here to shine as brightly as possible, not to be admired from a telescope, but to be an expression of awareness, wonder, inspiration, and liberation, for those who look to the stars. Bask in the warmth of my light, my little lamb.
I am here to touch everyone I can, like the sun. And like the sun, I prefer it be from a distance. Get to close and I’ll burn your hands off!
I am here to break down barriers and rip apart labels! Labels are for jelly jars! Labels are insulting to the contents they describe! Trying to pin me down with a label is like a drawing of a stick man with a thumbtack, trying to leap off the page to peg me in the forehead. I got more dimensions on you! No I don’t. Yes I do. No I do. Yes I don’t. Honestly, I hate being labeled. Truthfully, I do not care how I am categorized. No it doesn’t.
I may not be labeled as religious, or spiritual in any form, or poetic, or artistic in any shape, or disciplined in any sense, or moral, or ethical, or hygienic, but if you ever wanted to learn about enlightenment, or the soul from someone who does not care for such words, here is the place to be.
I am here, because I am amazing!
As amazing as I am, I am not without my critics, so let me tell you what they will say, because I already know, because they are all predictable assholes. The critics will tell you many of my ideas are a derivative firestorm of unhinged, fatalistic hallucinations, forged from the ejaculatory, sweat soaked nightmares of a madman. The critics will also tell you my most competent material is ripped directly from the works of legitimate thinkers, that I had chanced to catch on television, because God forbid I read an actual book by an actual scholar. They may also tell you I use verbose language to conceal an overall vacuous message, easily summed up in a sentence or two. They act as if I use superfluously circuitous methods of writing to sound smarter than I am. Know that these are only the opinions of close friends, and family members, who only express their honest opinions for the security of others. (Thank you to the homeless people who listen to me preach at the bus stop, for your support.) Some of the critics are just mad, because I am not a sheep clone, baaing as the other sheep do. I am a rebel – a black sheep – a black sheep with a gilded fleece, roaring like a lion to alert the rest of the pack… largely due to identity issues, caused by being a black sheep who just wants to shut up and fit in.
Regardless of what others think, I know the material I share with you to be salient, because I do not understand half of it, drawing the logical conclusion that there are others who can, in the exact same way I barely understand the basics of quantum mechanics. I do not even know what salient means, but most smart people do. So argue with the smart people over my faultless logic, if you want to look stupid.
So what is it that qualifies me to be here, discussing matters such as enlightenment, considering I do not know, or care how others define such a word, aside from the fact this is a free site any person with half a brain, and a half an hour of free time can easily set up? (Six hours, including tutorials, for me.) I am not a spiritual guru. I am not a worldly scholar. I am not a life coach. I am not cultured to any degree in any facet of life. I am not an authority on any subject. I have not traveled. I barely graduated high school. I haven’t lived… I haven’t loved… goddamn it! No wonder people used to think I was gay! I wish I was gay, because at least then I’d know what sex with a woman is like! So many wasted years… Getting back on track, I have not read any books on enlightenment, or meditation, but I did half watch a documentary on Buddhism once. I might not know much, but what I do believe to know I believe to be worth writing down, which is why I am here.
I have read as few books, and watched as much television as the majority of my generation in North America. I have also spent more time in quiet contemplation than anyone I have met. Within my contemplative condition I have explored the dark regions of the heart, only to steer towards the light of the soul. I have stood on the ledge of reason only to decipher the borders of sanity. I have banked on the fringes of society only to peer into the heart of the world. I have contemplated the complexities of the universe only to discover the simplicities contained within. I have sacrificed the opportunity for a viable life, until now, in order to find the meaning of it, for I could not live any other way.
Spending a vast amount of time in silence drove the need for heartfelt expression, as a series of perpetual epiphanies took hold, where one novel thought inspired another, and another, to the point where I was compelled to write these thoughts down to share with others. For years, never uttering words such as, god, enlightenment, or spirituality without being accompanied by words such as, perhaps, or, what if, enabled an understanding of those concepts to eventually be spoken of with confidence, free of the garden varieties of arrogance and ignorance of this time.
I was not always the clairvoyant super sage I am today, far from it. I spent many, many years often in a state of tremendous confusion and distress, deliberating on existential issues that seemed incomprehensible and irreconcilable, only to discover that confusion was a channel to an awakening. I am here so you do not have to endure the same headaches to receive the same pleasures.
For years I was hesitant to express my thoughts. I would not understand why before doing so. To have the countless hours spent in contemplative silence, reduced to the bi-products of a loudmouthed braggart, or the half-truths of a do-nothing know-it-all was a core concern. Keeping my accumulating thoughts close to heart and away from others provided a sense of sincerity. My viewpoints could not be accused of being a means for monetary gain, or public notoriety in such a condition. Carefully considering all of the potential pitfalls became proof enough I was ready to move forward. The philosophic apprehension brewing inside became nothing more than a thin veil masking fear. In silence I was safely hidden away in an impenetrable cave, away from daylight exposure, and the judgement of others. Trouble became the safety abating this fearful apprehension nurtured a developing depression. This became a clear sign that my super sexy sage duties were going unfulfilled. I had to grudgingly accept my role as a dynamic prophet, infecting malleable minds with love and cheer everywhere I go.
You can spend your entire life fighting destiny, only to discover it was your fate to do so. We are all puppets on a grand stage, coming to terms with the fact that we are the ones pulling the strings. Awake your inner sage, or be an eternal slave to my ideology.
It’s nice to have you here.