My Mom (Happy Birthday)

The soul of a solar system

Can cook a mean chicken

Can chop the head off a dispute disrupting a kitchen

A giant pack of bubble wrap in case of a collision

The dentist when molars in polar positions cause pain

A chemist with stain removal methods for fabrics on all plains

Lion tamer, litter trainer, little tyke entertainer

Can tell a future modern classic from a poor post imitator

Bed tucker mother sucker giver when a river of tears flow

From low blows by elbows when big bro’s being an assh…

When big bro’s not feeling so bashful

Doesn’t like casserole, but can whip up one quick

Work shoes, sewing kits, shopping carts, oven mitts

A spot on the #1 Mom charts would be stopped by none of it

Never hit me with a  yard stick

Can see through a card trick

When the cookie jar’s been picked clean by tiny felons

You grew up to grow three peachy prime ripe melons

You deserve the limelight

Everyday I should highlight

How much you’ve done for all of us

But it would take to sum it up

Ten lifetimes of primetime interviews

On Oprah’s couch to relay the real news

Lastly, no lie, exaggeration, or gimmick

If it’s a “who done it” that’s British

When possible to do, my mom will solve it in minutes

P.S. I swear I never hit my little brother with a low blow.  I could be a bit of a brat before the age of twelve, but I would never ever do that.  I know how painful it can be.  Be careful if you’re going to swing around a tether ball pole like Tarzan.

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