Clear Minded Mistakes

This is Angry Tablecloth, and today I am going to share a few thoughts on how one can discover their true purpose, within the perceptible reality consciousness matrix, enabling freer motion over the integral optimization vortex.

The point to achieving goals is in the meaning of the purpose.  Achieve the point to find the purpose to the meaning of the goal.  Purpose is the goal, and achievement is the point in meaning.  This isn’t working out like I thought it was going to.  Thought I could just throw a bunch of important words together, and something would form.

Purpose… purr pose… A purr pose sounds like something that needs to be a thing.  Damn it, I need to focus!  I’ll just edit this nonsense out, probably after it’s posted, when anyone who is going to read this, already has.

I do edit some posts after the fact – minor adjustments, I swear, within the span of a minute to day.  This happens when I feel the tone is a bit off in a line or two, or a paragraph is a bit flat, or unintentionally convoluted, for example.  It might be funny to go back to an old post people have “liked”, and throw in a couple points sympathizing with terrorists. “What?!  Others actually enjoyed this?  You people are all on Obama’s kill list, now!  Wave hi to the drone for me, if you see it coming.” But that would be like steering a bus full of passengers off a cliff, and that would be awful, if I’m the one in the driver’s seat.  I’d rather push the pedal to the metal en route to paradise, or chill out on cruise control.  Driving in circles is not always a bad thing.  You can notice details in seeing the same setting again and again that often go overlooked.

So, why do you sleepily post things only to wake up after the fact?  Thanks for asking, brain, but sleepily is a bit harsh.  These words have the feeling of a dialogue taking place in my head, before they are posted, but when posted they have the feeling of something being spoken out loud for the first time.  Saying something out loud to someone else allows me to see there are assumptions being made, among other things.  So, do you have any way to correct this pattern of correcting things, before the fact?  Realizing there is no visual or aural component to assist, like there is in my imagination is important.  To give an example, I may write something that has a sarcastic tone in my head, but the actual words used do not convey that.  (That last sentence was written an hour after this has been posted, to provide a demonstration.  Nothing else has been, or will be touched.)  It’s often a matter of what’s conceptual versus what’s concrete.  The solutions to this are simple, once the realizations are made.  And again, these are small adjustments.  Don’t make a big deal out of it, brain.  We should probably move on, before this gets weird.

I once compared scientists and calculators in a way that was misleadingly insulting, potentially.  In my opinion, it is the one thought I have shared that was in need of more than a small adjustment.  It wasn’t a bad idea, but it was not well executed.  It came across as if I thought a physicist could perform complex equations, but could not necessarily fathom the depths of the universe any better than the average person, associating a hypothetical scientist’s capabilities with that of a calculator.  I like abstracts that have a single, unclear message that is clearly supposed to be viewed in a specific way – unless the intent is clearly to buck that trend – and that is where I slipped up.  On the bright side, if that was the biggest mistake I have ever made, then I would be able to sleep without waking up screaming, in a cold sweat, at 2:00am, every night.

Some mistakes are simply oversights in grammar caught a little too late. You ever turn in a paper to a teacher, and they go over it with you, and things are going smoothly, and then they ask you in a sweet, sincere voice about the meaning of a specific sentence, which turns out to be total gibberish?  “The banality is to foremost the reason it’s held to be true.”  What does it mean?  It means I’m a maniac.  Obviously, it means I had a momentary stroke in the middle of that sentence.

In consolation, at least these mistake serve as a valuable lesson, and the inspiration for this piece I share with you now.  So, you see… they weren’t really mistakes!  This was done on purpose!  I’m still perfect!  Nobody’s buying that.  Shut up, brain!

The mistakes I have made have helped me to refine my voice on the page.  As long as my voice is not that of a homeless person condescendingly giving financial advice to a billionaire, I’m good.  But who knows?  Maybe that homeless person has something important to share on such a level.  Maybe the billionaire got to where he/she is, because they did listen, and that is why the homeless person ended up where they are now, as they were robbed of the credit and money they deserve for a brilliant idea that was theirs, and as a result are now bitter, and jaded, spending their nights trying to drink away the memories that haunt them so.  Or maybe the billionaire had earnest improvements to make, or a different direction to take, but his/her business partner was stubborn, and that is why they both ended up in the positions they find themselves in, today.  There are a countless number of reasons this rise of one person and fall of another could have happened, ranging from tragically ironic to heartbreakingly tragic.  Did you just write a paragraph about a fictional billionaire, that has nothing to do with anything else written here?  Yes, brain, I think I did.  Why are you just now questioning the strangeness of this all?  I’m kind of stupid.  Yes you are, brain, yes you are.

The last thing I would like to share with you now, perhaps the most valuable lesson gained so far from this blogging experience, is that mistakes are formed peace which lessons the air of important plains to being, since that is the reason we are purpose.


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