Fun For Anyone, Excluding Almost Everyone

This is Angry Tablecloth, and I defy conventional Catholic sentiment, just like Pope Francis.

One of my main goals throughout the course of this blog is to support the values of love and forgiveness.  I want to bring us all together under one nonjudgmental umbrella of goodwill… unless you water your lawn during talks of water shortages.  Everyone knows you are doing it, because you are the only one with a lush, green yard!  It makes you look as good as someone who wears endangered animal furs, who are also people I cannot stand, especially if the fact there are only five pieces of their fashionable material left living in the wild adds to the appeal.  Aside from anyone who fits in either of those two categories, along with anyone who owns a solid gold toilet… if you do own gold a toilet, I recommend sticking your head in it, and reflecting on that fact for a while.  Alright, so aside from a pretty limited number of people, I want to be as inclusive as I can… not including atheists, agnostics, the religiously devout, people who whistle while walking down the street, people who cannot laugh at themselves, people who drive twenty miles over the speed limit, people who drive exactly the speed limit, people who talk to themselves when someone else is in the same room, and… that is all I can think of, for the moment.  Well, it would seem I have made it impossible to take a step on the beach without crossing a line in the sand.  This is not exactly the start I was going for.

Now that absolutely no one is reading this, I would like to take a moment to earnestly thank everyone out there who is endorsing peace, love, tolerance, forgiveness, the potential of the pineal gland, varying densities, and anything else along those lines.  I know that for some, trying to promote the power of such concepts can leave one feeling as hopeful as a Bible salesman at an atheist convention, but there is solace when numbers come second to the value of the good book.

Cain can be punished for the murder of Abel, but that does not rectify the irreversible damage that has been done.  Only through love, acceptance, and forgiveness can balance be restored in such a situation, at least in one’s lifetime, unless you know of a good necromancer.  Punishing one for a crime inflicts further damage, but is done to prevent even greater damage, when it is in the name of justice and balance, which is exactly why we lock up nonviolent pot smokers where I am from.

Humanity can use all of the love, acceptance, and forgiveness it has to offer, when considering the present imbalances humankind is dealing with.  It’s funny (in a way) how someone can learn of a catastrophe taking place on the other side of the globe, and think, “Shit happens,” or, “It’s all a part of a greater plan,” and yet the proverbial shit hits the fan should that same person be told something mildly off putting on a personal level, as if the plan does not involve insults involving how that person’s butt looks in a certain pair of jeans.  It’s funny how some of us would rather not speak about the condition of the world, until it is in a condition that renders us speechless.  Hey, to me it is funny, in a way, but that is partly because I feel as if I contribute something positive to myself, and others by laughing, loving, learning, and by humbly passing on a few messages that have helped me, to others.  I do this so that a hundred years from now people are not wondering why it is called a fishing pole, when “cockroach wrangler” makes more sense, as they hungrily try coaxing one out into the open.

Love and laughter are essential to enjoying this life.  Oh, which reminds me – Angry Tablecloth’s alien abduction combat tip #35: Using telepathic images of a bomb exploding, or the craft crashing in a spirit of anger can help, but using humour can have an even greater effect.  It’s not necessarily easy to do when terrified and confused, which is why anger is often more pragmatic.  Just imagine farting on an alien’s face, and tossing him off to the moon in a cartoonish manner, or anything else that would make you laugh, you know, if they’re not playing nice.  Remember, it’s not racist to claim all Greys look alike, but it is offensive to claim they all think and feel alike.  “Is this a metaphor for something?  This is a joke, right?”  “Quiet!  Unless you’re looking for a dinner date with men in black suits.  Only hushed tones in this newly established drone zone.”  Of course this is a joke, probably.

I can find joy in a world where many manipulating forces would prefer I do not, unless it is for a profit they are invested in, but turning a blind eye does not end with me facing happiness.  Of course there are societal influences relentlessly promoting insecurity, doubt, anger, and sadness.  If not, many of us would not feel compelled to buy a new phone every six months, or a new pair of shoes should a speck of dirt touch the sole of one, through the division compelling us to do so.  If that is what you want, because that is your style – that’s fine… everything’s fine.  There’s nothing wrong with the world, which means there is nothing wrong in wanting to change it.

Plant a tree, recycle a bottle, or doubt global warming.  To believe in or doubt global warming is a bit silly, considering it is not the tooth fairy.  I do not need to believe or doubt to know I prefer my air as toxin-free as possible, but this blog is not here to badger others about inconvenient truths, and so I’ll drop it.

Fact is, the amount of actual vitriol I may feel for those who drive the speed limit can only be conquered through other means. Even if I did actually hate someone engaging in such activities, only through love can I eliminate that which I instinctively hate.

Lastly, I would like to wish everyone a happy new year.  May you prove to the eyes in the sky that you can fly, because you have earned your wings, if that is what you desire.  If you wish to revel with devils with limited lifespans, then do not let me dissuade you.  (Limited, because love is eventual, or inexorable, depending on the outlook.)  May you find what you need, and want in whatever reality you wish to explore.

P.S.  I did not mean to offend anyone that may have an opposing view to mine, or enjoys watering their yard.  I like making a few jokes now and then, and so certain comments are purely based on what I find funny.  Besides, my mom waters the backyard from time to time during the summer, and I promise you that has nothing to do with why I despise that woman.  And to reiterate my attitude, I am not here to judge, even if you own a gold toilet, but if you do, and I am at your place, and I start to get a bit nauseous due to that fact, then I hope you do not mind if I throw up in it.  Fun, fun, for everyone.


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