Border Patrol

This is Angry Tablecloth, with a live dove in the glove compartment, and dark skies in the rear view mirror.  Hitch a ride with me, and we’ll take a road trip to total bliss.

We sure have had a lot of fun over the last few months, haven’t we, boys and girls?  We have learned together, laughed together, loved together, and even cried together.  I am doing all of those things right now.  I know my unconventional approach to many subjects is not for everyone, but that is the nature of the alternative enlightenment blogging biz, for ya.  This ain’t your grandma’s Taoism.  I know I can be a bit polarizing, with my reason, and logic, but from the moment I started typing my thoughts down, I knew that would be the case, regardless of what I had to share.

An opinion or observation automatically forms a separation with opposing forces.  (Mind blowing, I know.)  A lack of opinion can even form a separation from those who are passionate on a subject.  Even an opinion on the most benign topic can provoke.  “I hate Mondays.”  “Mondays are the reason people love weekends, jerk!”

Nearly all of us have borders we set, based on whether something is too soft, crude, simplistic, predictable, or strange, for example.  Someone may cross a line that triggers deportation from your world.  Someone else may do drugs on the wrong side of town, but is such an asset to other parts of the community that they are allowed a temporary visa, until it can be determined whether or not they are a good fit.  Someone else may cross a line that you decide to follow, as they prove there are no landmines, allowing you to expand the territory, and explore new wonders in places you previously dared not to tread on.

I bring all of this up, because a friend told me they love it when I – and I quote – “bash the shit out of religion.”  Bash religion?  Me?  Why would I hate?  I have a face designed for winking at lovely ladies, and a mind that could compensate if I were more suited for bridge duty, as the neighborhood troll, and so I have no reason to intentionally harsh on anyone else’s buzz.  I’m a freethinking, tree hugging hippy type… with an occasionally smart ass sense of humor I am usually pretty good at keeping in check.  I want to promote tolerance, and compassion, and understanding, and if my attempts, or insights into such matters unintentionally conflict with a religious order, then so be it.

I see most organized religions in the same light as Facebook, or Twitter, which can be viewed clearly with a hammer analogy.  A hammer is a destructive tool, or a pointless one at best, to a person who does not know about nails and two-by-fours.  A hammer in the right hands can help build a community, and strengthen the bonds within it, but in other hands it can be used to bully gay people.

I believe there are things that will be proven flawed, or outright wrong five hundred years from now, while, oddly enough, it is discovered a sect of civilization already knew the truth, a thousand years prior.

I would tell you what my religion is, but I do not want the cult I lead to get any ideas that do not come from my doctrine… alright, so I am a Catholic.  That’s right, not only am I a cult leader, I’m also a member of one.  No, I’m not a Catholic, but I would make that smart-ass comment even if I were, and my sense of humor had not been beaten out of me by a rigid nun, or even worse, a rigid prie… sorry, again, my sense of humor.

My Grandma’s faith in God allowed her to face cancer, and eventually death without any fear or sorrow, and I would not dare take that away from her, even if I did disagree.

I mean no disrespect or harm.  I’m not here to judge others based on their beliefs.  If you are actually reading this then that means you are not watching cat videos, or pornography.  You are on the internet, and you are reading!  Who even does that anymore, in their spare time, if it’s not packaged in bite sized doses of 140 characters or less?!  That is impressive, and speaks to your character, and that is something I think we can all agree on.

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One thought on “Border Patrol

  1. This was great. I almost cried, right before I chocked from laughing. For a writer to be able to do that to a critic who fancy’s the Oscars is saying something. You have schtick.

    C

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