Advice Advisory

This is Angry Tablecloth.  Want to go from a well meaning sympathizer who brings up the mistress on the day of the funeral, to an omniscient prophet able to raise an erection from the dead, one final time for the grieving widow’s pleasure, through the power of words alone?  That sounds messed up.  Don’t wish for that.  Let’s start over.

This is Angry Tablecloth, and this is a little advice on how to advise, beyond the simple want and need for it.

Live life based on what is possible, but treat others based on what is reasonable.  Moving from the mean streets to a mansion may only be a matter of desire, passion and/or commitment, but to eat a turkey sandwich in front of a hungry child, only to tell the kid they would also have one if they simply wanted it enough, could be considered a tad unreasonable.  Go ahead and believe in the power of belief, but know this can be a case by case reality, open to those who are open to understanding it.  A little compassion can go far.

Not to tell you what to and not to do, but avoid telling others what to and not to do.  Explain in detail the likely result.  Explain the rewards and consequences beyond right and wrong.  Push yourself to fully grasp the scope and scale of every situation through articulation.  It’s different if you just need the kids to shut up, because everyone in the grocery store is looking, I know.

Sincerity helps.  The search for an answer can be cluttered by the influences of glory and shame.  Answers are accessed swiftly, and explored more thoroughly when there are no obstacles from the ego to bypass, or distract.  Passion is also important, and is also related to this matter.  A physicist passionate about their field can effortlessly speak about it to no end.  The facts are not concealed or protected by the ego, and what is not known is freely admitted, and so in this state of mind all the available answers are in clear view.

If you find a bleeding man, lying on the ground, go ahead and apply a tourniquet, but you may want to wait for a doctor before commencing surgery.  A doctor does not pretend to know it all, because that is dangerous, and knows too much to make matters worse with ignorance.  Change doctors if this is not the case.

Revealing flaws and vulnerabilities can help form bonds, and those bonds hold power.

The wisdom to weather situations beyond understanding is precious, especially when the wisdom to understand such situations is cloudy.  The brand of wisdom that is clearest and most accessible is the most valuable to those in need of it.  What is known and not known form an incredible picture, and there are a countless number of possible pictures depending on that diverse relation.

Mean even the smallest things said.  If you know you are going to be five minutes then say, “I’ll be five minutes.”  Don’t tell me to be outside the house in five, then not show up for twenty, and send me a damn text acting like I’m the one holding things up, when I just got tired of waiting!  The ability to coordinate complex triangulations can be found in the care of small details.

Do not rely on fuck and shit as primary adjectives, verbs, or nouns, all of the time.  Take the time to analyze, appreciate, and depict a situation with concise details, and without generalized expressions, or you may lose the ability to do so, and that would be some fucked shit.  Lazy habits of speech culminate the same way laziness always does.

To quote Bun B from Big Pimpin’, “Pick up a book you illiterate son of a bitch, study up yo’ vocab.”

Those are all of the helpful hints I have, for the moment.  Tune in next time, when I will have advice on how to better take advice.  Eh, let’s just get it over with now.  Basically, you just need to read all of my stuff over and over, ten times a day, minimum, and force others to do the same.  Walk around with a smart phone, or lap top in hand at all times, so you can crash through the front windows of people’s homes, or barge into their cars, and shove this right in their faces, while screaming, “Obey!  Obey!  Obey!”  That might sound crazy, right now, but after you’ve been reading this stuff ten times a day, for six to eight months, it won’t seem so unreasonable.


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